26 Things I've Learnt In 26 Years
Some wardrobe related...some misc
WTF is having a reshuffle! I would love more of my longer pieces of writing to be available to everyone on Substack, such as newsletters like todays, so I’ve decided to make some changes. Paid subscribers will still receive access to WTF every Monday and hopefully some bonus editions coming soon. Free subscribers will now receive newsletters more sporadically, which will hopefully still be once a month but won’t always necessarily be ‘10 Things’. So that starts today, with this newsletter! I hope you enjoy and that all makes sense, apologies for the changes x <3
Hangovers don’t last forever
There is literally nothing worse than waking up with a hangover, and after going to uni in Manchester I think I’ve experienced enough of them to be able to offer up my advice on the matter. The one thing I try and remember every time I wake up with a pounding headache, dry mouth, greasy hair and insane hangxiety, is that in 8-12 hours it’ll all be over. You might be thinking like, obviously??? that’s how time works?? But that can easily be forgotten when you feel like you’re in purgatory. My advice is - wash your hair when you wake up and still have some drunk energy, eat something salty, try to leave the house, don’t spend the day alone and always have an afternoon nap. Before you know it, it’ll be time to go to sleep and your hangover will magically disappear. However, if you’re at work (specifically retail) then there’s no saving you I’m sorry!!
Don’t buy something that’s too small for you
I’m honestly still not great at following this rule but clothes are meant to fit us, we aren’t meant to fit into clothes. I know it can be painful leaving something amazing behind because it’s too small, but trust me when I say it’s a waste of money. You most likely won’t wear it, or you will wear it… but it’ll be insanely uncomfortable and both those outcomes will make you sad. There’s nothing worse than seeing something you love hanging in your wardrobe that you know you never wear. Feeling comfortable and confident in your clothes is the most important thing!
TikTok is not a reliable news source
I like to think of myself as a pretty switched on person who can’t be fooled easily, but there have been a few too many times I’ve immediately believed something I’ve seen on TikTok. I’ve confidently announced it to my boyfriend and he usually says he won’t believe me until he’s seen it on the news, and honestly he’s usually right. Sometimes it doesn’t even take 10 minutes until I’ve seen another video de-bunking whatever gossip I heard earlier.
You should change the water in your flowers every few days
Seems simple and makes such a difference, but very easy to forget.
It’s always helpful to plan an outfit the night before
Especially if it’s for something important, I often CBA and decide to leave it till the morning, only to wake up in an absolute panic and have no idea what to wear. Even if you have an outfit idea in mind for the next day, I would advise trying it on as sometimes things can look very different IRL. I rarely feel good/like myself in a rushed outfit!
People are usually mean because they’re jealous
This is such a classic mum statement, but I’ve come to realise it’s actually so true. All it takes is one scroll on Instagram or TikTok to see thousands of nasty comments on a successful influencer’s post about what they wear, buy or do. As if every single one of us wouldn’t rather be travelling constantly and shopping whenever we feel like it. Obviously sometimes people are mean in retaliation to something that’s upset them, but I find usually the stupid petty stuff is just down to jealousy.
Being treated like shit by your partner is not normal
I haven’t had many previous relationships, but I’ve had enough to realise that being treated like shit by the person who’s meant to be your BFF, is not normal. We ignore so many red flags simply because when “it’s good it’s good”, but that’s possibly the most toxic thing we can tell ourselves. I’ve had ex boyfriends go out drinking every single night even when I told them I don’t like it, then they called me boring when I don’t want to join in. I’ve also had boyfriends tell me I can’t wear certain things, that my new haircut/colour is horrible, cheat on me and more. One of my exes even tried to sleep with me two hours after I was sexually assaulted by a man in a club - like read the room bro. I look back and I’m truly like WTF?! Why did I put up with this for such mediocre men. I know it can be hard to realise in the moment when you’re probably being love bombed and truly believe you’re meant to be with this person… but if you think you deserve better, you probably do.
Always carry plasters, hair clips, bobbles and gum
Self explanatory but necessary! I’ve been carrying an ‘emergency kit’ of all of the above plus a lighter, pain killers, lip balm, lip liner and more for the past two years. It’s saved me and my friends many, many times.
If you’re debating washing your hair, just do it
It can seem like the most labour intensive task but if you’re even debating whether to try make your slick back work for another day, then you should probably just wash your hair. I’ve woken up too many times on a rushed morning feeling insanely greasy with no time to fix it and then felt gross for the rest of the day, wishing I’d just done it the night before (honestly, me RN)
It’s OK to cancel plans for your mental health
Obviously sometimes it’s good to push ourselves out of our comfort zone because it really can work wonders, but also it’s important to look after yourself and know when to stay cuddled up on the sofa. It’s also important to not feel guilty about doing that, and don’t let anyone else make you feel guilty either!!
Don’t put off your smear test!
I was absolutely terrified of having my first smear test last year so decided to book it the second the letter arrived, and thank god I did! It turned out I had HPV and potentially abnormal cells, which I found out via email and then burst into tears in a shopping centre in the middle of Leeds. This meant I had to go back in for a colposcopy, which is where they pop some dye in your cervix to check everything out. If the dye changes colour they basically hole punch a piece of your cervix out (help) to send off for testing. Thankfully I ended up getting the all clear but I was so so anxious for weeks while waiting for the results. I know it feels insanely scary and invasive, and I can’t lie and say it’s not uncomfortable, but it’s so worth getting checked just for peace of mind.
Not mixing drinks will make you feel better the next day
The nights I go out and simply stick to tequila lime soda’s are the nights I rarely regret. I wake up feeling like I almost didn’t drink! But when I mix everything under the sun I wake up feeling like my heads about to fall off.
You can’t always expect people to act how you would in certain situations
This is something my boyfriend tells me all the time when I get upset about things, but it can be so hard to remember in the moment. We all have our own ways of dealing with things and it’s rare that they’ll perfectly align with someone else’s, so it’s important to take a breather in a tense situation and remember that the other person isn’t inside your brain!!
Snoozing your alarm for 5 minutes won’t make you feel less tired
We’re all guilty of doing this but I know it makes me feel so much worse. It gives your body 5 minutes of false hope before it’s ripped away from you in what feels like 0.5 seconds. I now try and force myself to stay awake after my first alarm, usually I just end up staring blankly at the ceiling savouring every moment of being warm and cosy.
Communication is the key to a healthy relationship
I’ve only realised this in my current relationship, but communication really is everything. Telling your partner why you’re pissed off at them instead of playing weird cryptic games or giving them the silent treatment just fixes everything so much quicker. Turns out relationships can be a breeze if you actually just say how you feel and mutually come up with solutions for things!
No job is worth being depressed for!!!
Just like shit boyfriends, I’ve also had very shit jobs. It’s taken a few too many of them but I’ve finally realised that no job is worth being depressed or anxious for. It’s not normal to wake up in the morning feeling sick with stress because your boss or whoever else makes your days so awful. In my last horrendous job before I decided I wouldn’t put myself through that again, my boss ambushed me at 9am and told me I wasn’t doing good enough (I was, I was literally running his whole business). Then when I tried to stick up for myself, he told me “sometimes you don’t need to talk, you just need to listen to me” - I physically cringe every time I remember that. I stuck it out for a while because it was a ‘cool’ job, but then I realised I’d rather do literally any other job where I was actually happy and not being treated like shit.
One of my favourite ever jobs was when I was working part time as a social media manager but needed another income alongside it so I got a job at a burger restaurant. I mostly worked on the bar, I worked late, I carried crates of beer up and down stairs and I was always covered in ketchup or milkshakes, but I absolutely loved it. I even ended up leaving my “dream” social media manager position because it was hell and I just wanted to be in my other nice job surrounded by good people who actually appreciated each other. Who cares if you have a “coveted” job when it’s actually just damaging your mental health??
Going for just one drink after work is perfect
When someone suggests going for one pint after work, two thoughts usually pop into my head.
No thanks I want to be back on my sofa ASAP
1 drink is never just 1 drink
However, once you break through both of those and actually just go for one, its great. You get to have a nice little post-work gossip and then walk home feeling slightly giddy from your pint without breaking the bank!
We have to stop “wishing we could wear something”
We’re all guilty of seeing someone wearing something cute but a bit out of your comfort zone and internally wishing we could “pull it off”. The secret to pulling it off is literally…just wearing it. I used to have this thing in my brain that I couldn’t wear tall boots because I hated my calves, and I was so jealous of everyone who looked good in them. But then I got a pair and just forced myself outside in them and now I’m obsessed!
Ankle socks never look good
Sorry!
Crafting isn’t childish
We need to craft more, we underestimate how relaxing and rewarding it can be to actually make something with your hands! Even if you don’t think you’re good at your craft of choice, just do it anyway. I’m terrible at knitting but will be digging my needles out as soon as it gets chilly and I’ve also been looking into buying some air dry clay.
Natural wine is just better!
Not to sound like a Real Housewives of Clapton meme but I have truly been converted to natural wine!! Probably because it tastes more like juice than ‘normal’ wine and I also love the natural fizz. Plus, way less headaches the next day!!!
Getting your own pet is HUGE responsibility
I’ve always had dogs growing up and 2-ish years ago I was desperate to get our own, so my boyfriend threw out the sensible suggestion of dog-sitting first to test the waters. Thank god he did, because having your own pet in your own ‘adult’ home is unbelievably different. I felt like I was constantly worrying about them, hoping they wouldn’t eat anything stupid, praying they’d get on with other dogs, wondering if they needed to go out again, when do they eat etc etc. It’s literally like having a child! Also if you’re easily overstimulated…having hair covering every inch of your house is something you may struggle with (I definitely do). Some day in the future I would still love to have our own dog, but I’m so glad I didn’t rush into it because it was so much more intense than I ever expected.
You don’t need to buy everything just because it’s “hyped”
I learnt this the hard way when I ended up with like four different colourways of Nike dunks and then very quickly went off them. It’s too easy to get sucked into trends and waste money on things just because they’re popular RN. That’s not to say that trends are all bad, because they can be such a fun way to experiment with your personal style. BUT…it’s important to be mindful and maybe not buy into something you know you’ll probably only wear once.
It’s important to call people out on bad behaviour
This is extremely difficult and awkward, but so important. There have been so many times I wish I’d called someone out on something they’ve said, from total strangers to close friends. I’ve left situations before feeling so much regret for not standing up and letting someone know that what they said or did was unacceptable. But the times I have done it, I’ve never regretted it. We all need to look after ourselves and each other more and stop giving people passes for acting like dickheads.
Time goes SO quick
I swear time is speeding up every single year, I honestly can’t believe I’ll be 27 next May. It feels cringe because when older relatives at family parties tell you to enjoy your younger years because they go so quick, you think they sound ridiculous and that you’ll somehow stay 25 forever. But they’re so so right!! I need to remember to stop wishing things in the future to come around sooner, and just enjoy the day to day.
Silly shoes will ruin your feet for days!!
Speaking of age, I’ve finally reached a point in my life where walking around all day in silly impractical shoes will lead to my legs/feet hurting for at least 2 days afterwards. Trainers have once again become my BFF and when getting ready in the morning I rarely even contemplate my ridiculous shoes anymore, instead I just opt for the most comfortable option (typing this as I stare longingly at my wardrobe of strappy heels and chunky wooden clogs that weigh the same as a small puppy).
finished off this newsletter from the comfort of my sofa today rather than in the WTF office, hence my cosy appearance. also my laptop camera quality is honestly shocking?? apologies xoxo see you next monday!
