BONUS EDITION! WTF is going on? (2)
We're back for round 2!
‘WTF is going on?’ is a new-ish style of newsletter from WTF, taking inspiration directly from the very question this platform was built on. Think of it like an agony aunt column where I ask you WTF is going on and answer your fashion/life/relationship/work etc dilemmas! You can anonymously send in your very own dilemma by clicking here for me to answer in a future newsletter.
I have a friend who I'm worried doesn't like me anymore. I mean, I think she does? She's stopped sending memes, but asked about me the other day (to me). She's not inclined to text or make plans, but I know she's there. She's also non-confrontational and a little volatile, so I won't know what she's thinking. How can I best ask her about what's going on and/or if she can stand me without being too forceful?
When you’re younger, friendship issues are rarely prolonged. You either get over it within a few days or you’re simply not friends anymore, and part ways to seek new social circles. Most of the time it’s because you’re still figuring out who you are and who’s company makes you the happiest, which often means the friendship hasn’t ended for malicious reasons - you just don’t mesh. What no one warns you about is that as you get older, difficulties with a friend are just as hard to navigate as relationship issues.
It’s natural that as we enter our 20’s, our social circles get smaller because we have less free time, and therefore are more ‘choosy’ about who we spend that time with. The friends you do choose to see frequently can become like family, especially if you’ve moved away from home or don’t have a strong relationship with your relatives. When you have those close knit friendships, you develop a platonic love for them (even if you wouldn’t tell them that). It’s just how our brains work, love makes any awkward situation or disagreement 100x harder to handle, it doesn’t matter whether it’s platonic or romantic. It just means you care about that person, and don’t want to hurt their feelings or even lose the relationship.
Despite how independent we all are, none of us want to be alone. Some people would rather be single with hundreds of friends of varying closeness, and some would rather spend all their time with one romantic partner - but nobody really desires being completely alone. Which is no surprise considering throughout school, anyone who is often alone gets bullied or mocked for it. We probably all have some deep rooted subconscious fear of having no friends, which would make sense as to why we find friendship troubles so incredibly difficult to confront.